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Now that my son has hit adolescence he is even less communicative than ever. No matter what kind of question I ask him his answers are monosyllabic. ?Fine? Randall Cunningham Game Jersey , ?nothing? or ?I don't know? seem to be the only answers I can get out of him. Any suggestions on how I can talk with my son again instead of feeling like I am talking at him?


Isn't it amazing how one day you feel happy about the kind of relationship you have with your child and the very next day your child becomes mute, treating you as if you are the enemy. What's happened? You review your own actions in the previous twenty-four hours and can discover nothing to provoke such treatment by your child. And yet, you are no longer on his list of trusted confidants. Just as mysteriously your child's distant treatment can change back to happy and connected behaviors over night. Ah the joys of living and loving teenagers.


Teenagers have the same genetic instructions for safety JJ Arcega-Whiteside Limited Jersey , love and belonging, power, fun and freedom that they did when they were children. How they attempt to meet these needs changes. And the priority of the needs to be met also changes.


During childhood Miles Sanders Limited Jersey , a child will rely on her need for love & belonging predominantly. But during adolescence this changes. Now power becomes the need our children rely upon, especially with us.


At the same time our adolescents begin to keep their personal life private, especially from us. They know what they are doing. There is no need for parental ?interference.? Of course interference is how they see our interest and concern. It is their ability to make these decisions without being second guessed by parents that enables them to feel more powerful and free.


This results in our children talking and sharing less with us. As frustrating and frightening as this can be for us parents Andre Dillard Limited Jersey , we need to accept this change. But our children's silence and seeming withholding of information leads us to worries about our greatest fears. Are our children not telling us things because they are doing illegal, illicit or immoral acts? Are our children in over their heads? Do they need our guidance and help? The result is that we ask more questions attempting to find out more about their lives. And the more we want to know the less our children want to tell us because of their increased need for power and freedom.


Yikes! What are we supposed to do?


Stop treating your adolescent like a teenager. By that I mean, talk to him as you did when he answered your questions and participated in a conversation with you. Be prepared that he probably still won't answer or participate in a conversation as an exchange. He might even attempt to shut you off by rolling his eyes or sighing deeply in great disgust. Do your best to ignore all of this. Instead act as if he is participating with you. If you want Clayton Thorson Limited Jersey , you can fill in his part of the conversation yourself. If it suits your personality, explain to your son that you still like him, still are interested in his life and still want to talk with him just like you did when he was 5 and 9 and will when he is 25 and 39. As you would with any friend Shareef Miller Limited Jersey , attempt to talk about things that are of interest to him. Do your best to refrain from prying or giving unsolicited advice. Whatever you do, don't lecture him. That is what he fears and dreads. Instead talk as if you are talking with a person who is interested in talking with you.


I promise that if you can keep your feelings of frustration light between the two of you, that if you continue to attempt to connect with him even though he gives you no indication that he is connecting back DeSean Jackson Limited Jersey , that eventually he will realize that talking with you and sharing with you does not mean that he loses his privacy, his power or his freedom. You just might have to wait until he reaches later adolescence before this happens.

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Posted On : Jun-24-2011 | seen (232) times | Article Word Count : 502 |

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